Social Media!!!!! At times it can be overwhelming. Most times it can be fun. But there has been a discrepancy that I’ve noticed from the beginning that makes the playing field unleveled. Now before the smart asses come in and say “but people can choose to use social media any way they choose“, yes, I get that. But then in some cases that really wouldn’t be considered social media. It would actually be push marketing and push messaging without the benefit of social communication. It’s more like monitoring who responds to your message and how.

As an early adopter, I try (not always successfully) to respond to and interact with the people who reach out to me as I can. But even I know that I can’t always response to everyone at all times. When I first began testing the waters, I’ll admit, I was a little weirded out at the thought of being “connected” to so many people I didn’t know. I realized that through my writing and my shows that my audience would increase. I worried about being so open and exposed because I just knew the crazies would come out the woodwork (and I’ve had two so far). But I always maintained that as I explored the landscape I would stay social and keep it about networking more than promoting things. And it’s not about the numbers.

Unfortunately, some people (so-called gurus) have gotten on the soapbox and told people that everyone should be using social media to promote their business, their products, their brand and find jobs. They’ve caused an irrational frenzy. But they got it half right. You can use it as a platform to do all of those things. But as I’ve said time and again social media should be social. If you’re not really ready to engage with people, you have no business being on it.

A great example of this is in an article I read this morning over at TechCrunch “Solving the Scoble Problem”. In the article, the author says that many silicon valley celebrities (and celebrities period) use the platforms to talk all about them and in doing that bring all of their devoted fans in who clutter the dialog. It gets to a point where it becomes a nuisance for the rest of us. Some may call this “hating” (I detest that word) but it really isn’t. In reviewing many of the comments on the article, people agreed. Twitter has become less social and more about talking at people. You have the celebrities, marketers, and tech celebrities constantly pushing out messages, but unless it’s responding to some praise, they never communicate. I’m sorry, Ashton Kutcher may be one of the more popular people because he shares experiences, but he’s not COMMUNICATING or engaging people, other than to ask what people think of his pictures, movies, etc.  And he made Fast Company’s cover story for most powerful social media king? Get out of here with that.

I have seen very few people actually get it and use social media for its intended purpose. Some people I really admire (Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby, Maria Shriver, I can go on) use social media and it’s all about push messaging. There is no real engagement, only announcing things to the world and asking for support in some way shape or form. Yes, I get they are powerful, important people. But either use it authentically and engage (not just connect) with people or leave it to your people to manage and be honest about it. They set a bad example for regular people trying to use it to deliver their own messaging. The difference between them and us is that when we do it, it’s called SPAM. They don’t get labeled as spammers because they’re celebrities. But in actuality, it is just as much spam as it is for the regular people.

And don’t even get me started on those pseudo-celebrities or Internet celebrities who decide to set up worship pages. I admit, I decided to be pre-emptive and set up my own Adrienne Graham Fan Page because Facebook limits the number of friends to 5000 but you can have unlimited people Like your page. But then I caught on to it. More than a few people set up these pages so they don’t have to engage! If someone Likes your page, it doesn’t mean you’re connected with them. Talk about an OMG moment! Facebook Fan Pages are the ultimate in PUSH marketing! If you’re going to do these, do them for causes, purposes or products. Not as a vanity project that allows you to ignore people. And make sure the nature of your page is clearly defined.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are some people that get it. Suze Orman, Kathy Ireland, Kim Wayans, Hines Ward, and a few others actually do engage with people. They don’t  bombard people with marketing messages. They genuinely talk with people and not at them. If I were to tell people just entering social media to look for proper role models, they would be the first people I would recommend.

One even more irritating occurrence is the entrance of big business using social media to recruit. With a handful of exceptions they get it wrong. You can’t just set up a Facebook page, Twitter account, YouTube Channel or Linked In Company Profile and say you’re on the cutting edge of social media recruiting. It doesn’t work that way. Yes, you have all these tools in place, but your pushing out jobs. You’re not engaging or creating a community. You are using these platforms to advertise. You do know the difference between advertising and building a community, don’t you? One of the few companies that actually get it right is ADP. They have figured out how to integrate social media into effective recruiting and they hit the mark each and every time. If you haven’t yet been to their ADP Careers page yet, take a stroll over and see how they are whipping your butt. They don’t just post jobs (and ignore candidates), they talk with people. They give advice to applicants on how to interview, respond to inquiries, share events and advise job seekers on job hunting etiquette. Are you doing the same? Of course not, because some fool told you just get on social media so it doesn’t look like you’re left behind.

I am not sick of social media yet. But I do get annoyed by the misuse of it. I don’t like getting auto DMs asking me to click a link or download a report (I don’t want to!). I don’t like following people who do a lot of grandstanding, promoting or marketing. If I wanted to buy your product or service I’d seek you out. I don’t like to “talk” to someone and have them not answer me back (it’s rude). I don’t like people trying to connect with me just because I’m a Recruiter and they want to get their resume in front of me (you can easily do that on my website. Connecting with me won’t guarantee you a job or an interview).  I really don’t like when people connect to me and then ignore when I reach out to introduce myself (don’t connect if you don’t want to engage with me!!). I’m on social media to learn about others, interact with people, and to build relationships. Get to know me. I’ve made it a practice to start removing people if they violate any of the above mentioned infractions.

And to those of you who think it’s OK to ignore people simply because you don’t know them anyway, watch yourself. Remember, just as social media can be a way to blow up your brand, it can also serve to blow up your brand. You forget that people can use it to praise you or criticize you. If you care about your brand, you need to pay attention to how you treat people. Keep ignoring folks if you want to, but it will backfire on you. I’ll say it again. Social media is supposed to be SOCIAL. It’s not about sending messages and asking people to look at you. it’s about engaging in conversation, two-way conversation. So get over yourselves.

I don’t care what Social Mention, Klout or any other tool says, numbers don’t mean you’re popular or contributing anything worthwhile. I don’t put much stock in rating systems. Interaction and feedback from others is my measuring stick. I pay attention to what my people say, not an algorithm. I’m not against monitoring tools as much as I am for real feedback from real people. Only they can articulate how I am affecting them.

Make sure you’re using social media for the right reasons and in the right ways. Don’t make a pest of yourself, don’t set it on automatic and definitely don’t set yourself on such a high pedestal (or be deemed an attention whore) that people get fed up with you. If you have no intention of ever connecting with people, stick to having just a static website so people can ooohhh and aaahhh at you. After all, it IS all about you and your ego, isn’t it? <sarcasm> Get out the way and let the people use it who want to be genuine and stick to its intended purpose.

Til next time,

Adrienne Graham