Networking is my favorite topic! I’ve written books on it, created programs and courses on it, and I’ve written and spoken about it often. Of all the things I can do for myself, my businesses and my brand, networking is the hands down most important. While I consider myself a pro at it, I still learn things every day. Much like with everything I do, I strive to learn more ways I can make my networking effective. I never mind taking a moment to impart some of my wisdom on people who ask (and sometimes even when I’m not asked! LOL). That’s why it pains me to no end to see so many people still getting it wrong.

I must admit, I have been slacking off in my networking as of late. I have two books I’m currently finishing up, I’m working on my radio show and magazine, connecting with major clients and potential partners, putting the finishing touches on an ultra exclusive event, and I’m in preproduction for my Internet TV shows. I know there’s more but you get the idea. So when people ask me to network (as in meet them for a chat) I have to be extra discerning. I only have so many hours in a day, even with staff! I have to admit, I don’t like what I’ve been seeing. I’m disappointed that so many still need a Networking Etiquette Primer.  Everyone who knows me pretty much knows I’m open to connecting and meeting with almost anyone. But it has to make sense. Because my schedule is so tight, I can’t say yes to everyone. But here are some ways to make me say NO WAY to meeting with you.

Asking for special privileges or favors. I give a lot of my time and I have helped many people over the years. But I cannot and will not help everyone. I’ve had some outrageous requests ranging from asking to be connected with some of the high powered, high profiled people I know (I don’t know you well enough for a formal introduction!) to asking me to put in a word for them with a potential employer (again, I don’t know you nor am I familiar with your work), to asking me to “sponsor” them at an event (are you crazy?). Listen, I give when people least expect it and to those who don’t ask. And if I know you, more times than not I will do special favors for you without you even asking. But don’t connect to me and five minutes later expect me to treat you like we’ve been friends for 20 years.  I don’t risk my reputation for people I don’t know. Sorry, I just don’t. I’ll advise you as best I can and point you in the right direction, but it’s rude to expect me to go above and beyond when I don’t know you.

Abusing my time. Now granted, at times I’m late. I get that, I own that. But it’s usually due to circumstances beyond my control. If I know I will be late, I will call or email someone to make sure they know. This gives them the option to decide to wait or reschedule. I respect other people’s time. So why do some folks have such a hard time respecting mines? It irks me to no end to schedule time to meet with someone and they either don’t show up, or show up late. I had one person tell me “why didn’t you remind me?” WHAT!!!!???? Remind YOU? Do I look like Outlook or Google Calendar to you? When I schedule time for you, I’m dedicating that time specifically to you. That means someone else didn’t get that opportunity because I thought enough of you to meet with you. Another peeve of mine is people who say they will call me at a certain time (for a phone meeting/conversation) then I don’t hear from them. No email, text, smoke signal, nothing to let me know something has come up. I don’t accept that from people I know, so what makes you think just because you don’t really know me, it’s not that important?  And have a clear agenda in mind. Know what you would like to talk about, and if possible, let me know in advance so I’m prepared. That makes things move along smoothly. Be respectful of people’s time.

Making me do extra work. I really don’t mind driving somewhere to meet with a person. But if you’re asking me to meet, at least have a place in mind, and make sure this place is mutually accessible. It’s only fair. And if you have limitations, keep that in mind and let me know. No, you cannot invite me out and ask me to pick you up. Especially if you don’t know what I have going on that same day or where I’ll be before (or have to go after) we meet. Listen, my car, bless it’s poor little soul, has no A/C. Do you know what that means in this excruciating summer? If it’s 95 degrees outside, it’s 105 in my car. I drive with a bottle of ice water, a scarf on my head, a towel for blotting sweat, and wearing a tank top and capris just so I can keep cool (I do change before meeting though). NO I don’t want to drive any further than I have to. I don’t want to drive in traffic during the lunch rush hour. So please have mercy on me and suggest a decent location and hour where I’m not baking like a rotisserie chicken. Yeah, yeah it’s not your fault I have a crappy car. But it’s what I have until I can get around to getting another. (Don’t judge me).

Asking me for endorsements on social media. There’s nothing worse than getting an email from Linked In saying someone’s asked me to endorse them…and I don’t even know them. I take endorsements very serious. I’m not going to endorse you because I think you’re a nice person or because you have a cool website or you listen to my show or are a fan of my work. If I haven’t done business with you (meaning you’ve purchased a good or services from me or vice versa), I will not endorse you. If I haven’t worked with you in some capacity (meaning as a colleague, not working in two different departments where our paths never once crossed) I will not endorse you. If we’ve been chit chatting online or even on the phone for a while, but I’ve never worked with, done business with, or in some way gotten a chance to become familiar with your work, skills, or business, I WILL NOT ENDORSE YOU. So please don’t ask. And if I do endorse you, I have to tell the honest truth. Don’t try to tell me what to say. Endorsements don’t work that way.

I really do want to network with just about everyone. But please make it easy for us to engage and continue a real relationship.

Til Next Time,

Adrienne Graham
Can’t we all just get along?