July was a pretty tough month for me. As some of you may know, I lost two family members in a three week span. That’s tough to deal with under the best of circumstances. As most people do during a time like this, I retreated a bit and shut myself off from the world just to give me a moment to deal with it and take it all in. During this time, I had several wonderful people reach out to me just because. There was no agenda, no sales pitch, no asking for anything. Just checking in to see how I was simply because they hadn’t heard as much from me as usual (and a few hadn’t heard from me in quite a while).

It’s instinctual to withdraw from the world when things are down. Sometimes it’s a good thing, but most times it’s not. Would you believe I took an entire week to work from home and never once stepped foot in my offices? My team must have thought I abandoned them!  My mistake was not limiting myself to a day or two to mourn properly then return to work.

Networking doesn’t have to be about asking for favors or doing things for people. Sometimes all a person needs is to hear a friendly voice. Many times people feel that they don’t have anything to say, or they feel awkward because they know the person on the other end is going through a tough time. But part of networking is relationship building and that means being there for the other person, even if it’s just to chat. Here are some tips to help you be more relationship focused in your networking.

Call others when you’re feeling down. I made a call to Michele Smith of M Communications a few weeks back to see how she was doing and also to lift my spirits. I knew she had gone through some major changes and reinventions in her business (and if you listened to my radio show last week you’d have heard all about it). Michele and I hadn’t talked in a long time and both of us had major changes since we last spoke. But the call made us both feel so much better. Sometimes you both need a pick me up. You can only control how you’re feeling, but just reaching out to someone else can make all the difference in the world to both of you. When you’re down, pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. You’d be surprised how good the call will do both of you. Designate one day a week to make a “pick me up” call.

Don’t shut away from the world. And if you do, keep it short. I’m not telling you how to grieve, process or deal with issues affecting you. but I do know that the more time you spend locked away, the more isolated you become and the less likely you are to find closure. If you’re doing your job in building your network, you should have some people who are champions and cheerleaders for you. They will be willing to lend an ear (and maybe some time for lunch). Don’t go spilling all of your personal business. But share that you’re feeling out of sorts and need some fresh ears or eyes to help you find a way out of this. Let your network help you through the tough times.

Be cognizant of what other people are going through. We don’t often understand the full severity of what someone may be going through. But as human beings, we should be compassionate and understanding. Offer to lend an ear (or a shoulder) with conditions. Hold on. I’m not being mean of selfish. Use this as an opportunity to help them with some encouraging words. Help them get back on focus with their goals. It’s OK for them to experience some down time to regroup. But help them get back on track. They’ll appreciate your for it and remember you when things pick up.

Keep the lines of communication open with your network. Showing that you care and building true relationships can lead to bigger things (like business and job opportunities). It can also lead to new friendships. It can also be the catalyst that helps jolt someone back to the land of the living.

Til next time,

Adrienne Graham
I love having people who support me through thick & thin.