Fifteen years ago, I started Information Experts with strong emotional and financial support from my husband. He saw my tremendous potential as a consultant, and enthusiastically backed my decision to break away from my employer that grossly under-appreciated me, and embark on an entrepreneurial journey.

Little did we know that this decision would lead us to the partnership we have now, in which we are partners in the growth of one of the leading strategic communications firms in the country.

As a successful business owner who has bootstrapped her own business, and successfully navigated her way through the labyrinth of government contracting, I field endless questions about business growth, marketing, financing, strategy, HR issues, and work-life balance. But the most common question I get is, “How in the world do you work with your husband?”

I will tell you that the experience of working with my husband, Adam, has been eye-opening and interesting, to say the least. I have learned more about myself, about Adam, about marriage, and about business than I ever could have learned if we did not go down this path.

When I look at Information Experts, and I think about the journey the firm has taken… how it has evolved, survived, and grown… it is such an amazing reflection of who Adam and I are together, and also as individuals. I believe that as spouses who each have an unwavering commitment to our relationship, we have built a company that reflects the values upon which we have built our marriage. Those values include support, trust, commitment to one another above everything else, work-life integration, family, and fun.

But make no mistake… it has not been an easy path to travel. Both Adam and I have strong personalities, and we have often clashed over business decisions. But along the way, we have definitely learned some strategies to protect both the foundation of the business and the marriage.

1. Define the roles
Define and respect each other’s roles. First and foremost, each spouse must have clearly defined roles. In our business, people have said that I am the “heart and soul” of the business, while Adam is the “blood and guts.” I am clearly ‘the face” of the company. I set the vision, the mission, the values, and the direction of the firm. I am the biggest promoter, cheerleader, and story-teller of IE. I see and feel our potential, and I know what we need to do to fulfill it.

Adam is more behind-the-scenes. With an incredible executive team, Adam manages the overall operations of the company – finance, IT, HR, legal, and the various processes that every business needs to function. This clear delineation of responsibility works out well for us because it naturally aligns with our strengths, personalities, and our business passions.

2. Demonstrate mutual respect
Always respect one another as you would any other employee. Treat your spouse with the utmost respect at all times. Act professionally. Don’t mix business with personal needs at the office. If you have a meeting with your spouse, show up. If you have an assignment, deliver. Extend complete professional courtesy to your spouse.

3. Communicate
Communicate the roles & responsibilities to your employees. One of the greatest benefits of working for a spouse-owned business is easy access to the owners. Spouse-owned businesses are often very transparent. However, they can also be confusing if roles & responsibilities are not clearly communicated. Employees need to know which spouse has which responsibilities – and they need to respect the structure.

One of our ex-employees actually told me I had to “get in touch with my inner Adam” because he thought I was too concerned with the welfare of one of his direct reports. He tried to circumvent Adam in a decision by coming directly to me, and then didn’t like the answer. He showed a blatant disrespect for our roles and tried to play us off of one another. In addition, employees want to know that there is one captain navigating their ship at any given time.

The message of who is ultimately in charge must be crystal clear. This message is often muddled when there is a 50-50 percent partnership split. Adam and I have a 51-49 percent split due to the fact that we are a certified woman-owned business, but that split does communicate a certain hierarchy in the firm as well. And it is appreciated.

4. Business is business during business hours
Schedule Regular Business Meetings. To avoid dragging unfinished business into the home, schedule meetings to discuss business-related issues. This may be a regularly occurring meeting, or it may be scheduled as the need arises. But you wouldn’t visit a business associate at home, at 10:00 in the evening to discuss an issue, so you shouldn’t expect your spouse to do so either.

5. Honor your marriage
Schedule Regular Dates. Your business can’t consume or define your marriage. You need to keep your personal connection going long after business is finished for the day. Schedule time to connect with each other outside of work. Take advantage of similar work schedules and go on a lunch date during the week.

Schedule time on the weekends and resolve to not talk about work. It’s hard to do – it’s really, really hard to do (and I am not good at following this rule), but it’s necessary to prevent your relationship from becoming completely transactional and business-focused.

Building a business with your spouse adds a completely new dynamic to the already-complex relationship that is marriage. It definitely doesn’t work for everyone. Like marriage, it takes a lot of work and a strong commitment, even in the most challenging of times. But the rewards are immeasurable.

When I think of the example we are setting for our kids – that moms and dads can truly be partners in all aspects of life – and when I think how lucky we are to have the trust of the employees we have, and when I consider what we have built together and the way we have changed the lives of those we have met because of Information Experts, it makes all of the difficulties seem insignificant.